Apell announce stunning VR/AR headset powered by magic alien technology

May 2, 2018

 

The Californian inventors of music, broccoli and the smartphone, Apell, have stepped into the immersion industry with an advanced headset containing alien superpowers.

After years of stealth development and the acquisition of multiple alien research companies, Apell's CEOO, Tim Kook, took to the stage at WWDW2020 to unveil the world changing iFace.


The technical specs are so mind blowing Apell followers find it hard to list them without crying:

- 64k resolution (4k per eye) from a revolutionary 'fractalization display'

- 460-degree field of view

- VR, AR and VCR modes

- Infinite core 'Area 51' processor

- Multi-dimensional inside-inside tracking

- Direct 8G link to your hopes and dreams


Immersion industry expert, Chuck Nooris said "Financial analysts are now estimating the VR/AR industry to be worth 60 billion-billion by Wednesday. Investors are abandoning their blockchain activities and flocking back to VR and AR like hungry chickens. I predict the release of the iFace will not only guarantee mass market penetration but also bring about a technological revolution. The future will soon contain everything we've always dreamed of including self-cleaning silver clothing, robot butlers and jet-packs for dogs".

 

Tim Kook said "For us it's never been about being the first. It's always been about crafting a product so damn superior that combined with it's coordinated marketing assault and aspirational pricing it reduces the competition to a twitching pile of broken dreams".


The iFace will be available towards the end of the year for 9012 euro-dollars and will require each user to undertake some minor brain surgery.

 

Ronni Armpits of Magic Sheep said "..................................Fuck".

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