PC VR user genuinely appalled by mobile VR users

May 30, 2018

 

 

Walter Salt has taken a break from his duties as a self-appointed VR industry expert to announce that all forms of mobile VR will almost certainly remain shit forever.

Walter said "Let's be honest. Mobile VR systems are less appealing than brushing your teeth with donkey sperm. The majority aren't even real VR. You can't move around 6 DoF style. How the f*ck is that supposed to be enjoyable?"

"Mobile VR graphics are both repulsive and deeply saddening. Most mobile VR titles look like budget N64 games and run like Half Life 2 on an old Nokia. That shit's embarrassing next to the non-stop mind shattering visual orgasm you can experience on a professionally tuned PC".

"When I see those dribbling, misguided mobile VR users pretending to enjoy themselves I experience an overwhelming sense of pity mixed with burning rage. Those guys are just bumbling tourists in the serious world of VR. They don't understand this shit requires pain and dedication. They'll never know what it's like to troubleshoot unrecognized USB ports, manage multiple cables and optimize the sensor set up. I think it's undeniable when you see my glowing nitrogen-cooled VR PC that I'm nothing but serious about VR".

"And don't get me started on the Octopus Glo tribe with their 'This is the next Tivo or some other equally bad analogy. They tell me it's going to crack the mainstream. If that's what a mainstream VR future looks like then I'm moving to Tibet".

 

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