Established film director dives into VR with unsurprisingly awful results

April 25, 2018

 

Successful indie film director, Axel Landsoap, has unveiled his debut VR film, Plague Dance, at Sunpants film festival in Oakland. Early reports suggest it's a spectacularly pungent cloud of shit steam that could signal the end of VR films forever.

Landsoap said "I thought it was time to sprinkle some of my directorial magic on the VR film world. From all the static stuff I've seen it was definitely time for some of my trademark dramatic swooping camera moves, extreme POV and rapid-fire transitions".

"With the massive funding I received from CineFlux I bought some super-expensive Nikonalta 460 cameras mounted on robotic camera arms. I watched a couple of 'how to make a VR film' tutorials on NewTube and I was ready to bring my geniousness. Filming in VR is actually super-easy as you don't even need to frame your shots. Camera sees freakin everything! Even all the way round the back.... Brilliant!"

"The studio informed me that slightly depressing stories are popular in VR. My first sub-genre defining VR film, Plague Dance, is a retelling of the 1518 dancing plague incident in Strasbourg. You are cast as an unsuspecting blacksmith's dog who ends up bringing the moves like a amphetamine fueled peacock spider. At it's core it's essentially a tale of inequality at an event dominated by human dance solos".

When Landsoap was questioned if he'd actually seen his film he responded "That thing.... Nooo. Makes me sick as a drunken teenager".

 

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