Octopus Eject 5 conference highlights

September 28, 2018

 

 

As the magic Oasis dust settles on the worlds largest VR hug-out we bring you the highlights from Octopus Eject 5.

Recently upgraded, fully autonomous CEO of FaceFace, Mark Stickerbird v4.02, opened the conference to announce the ground breaking Octopus Kwest. An all in one, 400 euro-dollar, 9DoF headset that's just like the Octopus Reef but kinda like the Octopus Glo but still like the Reef.

Mark said "The Octopus Kwest will run Reef quality experiences, You heard it here first people. Reef quality! Our engineers have been hard at work creating some future science that will extract the essence of Reef games and enable them to run on mobile hardware".

Vice president of enthusiasm, Huge Barrow, said "It's our mission at Octopus to defy distance, whatever the f*ck that means? So to enable the distance thing we added some controllers, tracking, lenses and audio to the Kwest. OK. You knew that already. I'm super-exited to finally announce the full hardware specs of the Kwest will b...Shit look, it's Darth Vader!"

Part time genius at Octopus, Michael Hairbrush, later magically appeared on stage and began preparing everyone a futuristic breakfast. He went on to remind everyone they're awesome and also invited them to sample some of his delicious pancake lenses.

Time travelling, future soldier and CTO at Octopus, John Connor, closed the conference saying "As you can see from my sweet muscles I've been working out battling robot overlords in 2048. On my return to this timeline, I'll be honest, I'm mildly annoyed with all aspects of our VR hardware and software".

 

"Except maybe our progress on 'headphones for eyes'. That's going well".

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