Budget laser-karaoke machines and exclusive songs are killing the laser-karaoke industry

April 3, 2019

 

The institute of disgruntled laser-karaoke enthusiasts have today announced that low-quality machines and exclusive content will almost certainly destroy the laser-karaoke industry.

Bitter laser-karaoke enthusiast, Max Crabby said "All it takes is one curious potential buyer to experience a poorly translated Ice Ice Baby and they'll question ever investing in a home unit. If this happens on a low-quality machine then we've lost them for good. I fear for the direction the laser-karaoke industry is heading".

Executive producer, Amos Business, from laser-karaoke machine maker, Beam Star Hero, said "We paid a chunk of money to secure exclusive rights to Country-Dubstep Bohemian Rhapsody. We think this will be a massive system seller for us this Fall. Exclusives have actually been commonplace in the entertainment industry for decades. For us it encourages customers to buy our machine over a competitors. This also helps the companies who make the exclusive remix, video and typography to pay their staff".

Unnecessarily angry laser-karaoke enthusiast, Walter Salt, said "It sends me into a magma-fueled rage every time I hear about an exclusive. All songs should be available on all karaoke machines to ensure laser-karaoke has a chance to go mainstream. Exclusivity is a festering poison, eating away at the laser-karaoke industry's soul".

"If this carries on we're definitely never going to reach one billion machines in people's homes by 2077".

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