Leaked Volv headset image contains clues to the hidden location of the lost killer app

April 12, 2019

 

 

The VR Community Intelligence Agency has revealed that the recently leaked Volv Index images contains clues to the location of the one VR game to rule them all.

Agency representative, Kent Pie, said "We brought in brightness-contrast specialists from the VR community who ran the image through 90's hacker movie software. After a number of days of enhancing, zooming in and further enhancing the image revealed shocking results.

A tiny reflection on the front of the headset revealed a PC screen showing hardware specifications that would bring tears of joy to the eyes of any hardened VR enthusiast. The image also clearly shows trackers on the headset that will certainly use Volv's Space Station 2 tracking satellite.

The mysterious frontal recess has also been confirmed to house an optional brain stimulation device. This is known to be supported by the upcoming penis improvement application, Boneworks. This dispels the previous rumors that the recess was intended to hold a tiny coffin containing the ashes of rival headsets.

Perhaps the most revealing finding is a series of cryptic messages hidden in the echo trace of the sub-pixels. Analysis reveals what appears to be a map, pointing to an underground structure, accessible from under the H and L of the Hollywood sign.

Well known cyptologists and aspiring VR tomb raiders, NayTea, Ziplock5, VR Osmosis and CloudyGuy said "We plan to embark on a quest to retrieve the legendary lost killer app. The map indicates that the one who can survive the never-ending corridor of abandoned Rift sensors, the cave of inappropriate locomotion peripherals and climb the mountain of unused Cardboard VR headsets will reach the Chamber of Software. The one who correctly enters the secret messages, believed to be hidden inside the controllers, will face the final trial. If only one of us survives it'll be worth it for the good of VR. When activated, the killer app is thought to bring about the 3rd coming of the crowbar of power".

President of Volv, Gabe Install, Said "We buried it for the good of mankind well over a decade ago. We knew if we released it at that time a large percentage of the worlds workforce would take sick leave, leaving public services dangerously undermanned. Our simulations also predicted widespread hype overload, societal collapse and possibly even exploding humans! We've recently re-ran the simulation with today's VR market size in mind and decided it's now worth the risk".

When questioned on the recent leaks Gabe added "VR community going nuts. Hype meter at defcon 9000. People reaching for their wallets like it's a kitten that needs saving from a falling piano. This is absolutely not what we wanted and we probably, definitely, had nothing to do with the leaks".

 

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