Moments after an uneducated, poorly written, VR is Dead article was published, all headset makers and VR software developers have decided to stop what they're doing and rethink their careers. Author of the Florbs article entitled 'VR was supposed to be Mindbendingly Awesome but is Actually Shit, Erik Pain, said "VR is a bad platform for video games and even worse for squirrel themed dinner parties. From the moment it was invented by amphibious woodland creatures in 1963, VR h

Residents of the Southfields apartment complex in Oakland are becoming increasingly annoyed with the guy opposite who appears to be having way too much fun in his VR headset. Disgruntled, self-isolated resident, Dan Calamity, said "I'm bored out of my mind most of the day but what really twists my lemon is the constant joyful yelps of VR guy in apartment 12. When he's not zoom-chatting or taking delivery of his online groceries he's got his VR on, flailing his arms around whi

Magic Sheep CEO, Ronni Almondbits, has recently listed his rusty old Mongoose BMX for an eye-watering 125,000 dollars, it has emerged. The Myspace listing reads; This is no ordinary classic 80's BMX. It's a spatial cycling enabler that can literally move people through any low-latency spatial environment by using it's multi-racing stripe sticker array and tiny wheels. It also can be used in conjunction with other spatial BMX people for collaborative co-presence cycling expe

VR headset manufacturers have announced they've got absolutely no clue how young is too young for VR and probably won't know anytime soon. Part time eye specialist at Octopus, Dr Alastor Moody, said "We read somewhere that kids eyes are still developing up to as late as 7 so an all night neon VR roller coaster tornament probably isn't advisable for your 5 year old. Honestly though, we've struggled for years on this topic. Our lawyers decided to up the min age from 7 on the DK

Social VR app developers, Against Gravy, have today announced they've completely lost control of Rek Room to a massive group of unsavory children who are now demanding independence from the Metaverse, it has emerged. CEOO at Against Gravy, Nick Flat, said "We worried this would happen but never thought it would go full on Lord of the Flies. We tried tempting them out with some PSN store vouchers and custom Fortnite skins but they just swore at us...at least I think it was sw

Makers of the spectacularly wide VR headsets, PieMax, have opened a number of pop-up restaurants with a unique approach to its products and clientele. Enthusiastic PieStarter backer, Bret Special, said "When I heard there was going to be a PieMax pop-up restaurant in my city I was freaking out! I'd heard they were going to have some ultra-wide pies. Guinness world record shit. Seriously, even amid rumors of the extreme pie width causing nausea, I was super-hyped!" "I knew s

(Plantation, FL) After a year of mystery (and scattered layoffs) MAGIC LEAP INC. has announced plans for their second ever LEAP CON according to Marcy Whitmire (Head of Events + Marketing). Augmented Reality fans will be invited to an afternoon of talks, demos, and networking at an abandoned Circuit City parking lot down the street from their Plantation Headquarters. “We’ve also rebranded the event to THE MAGIC LEAP MEET because we found that googling ‘Magic Leap + Con’ ret

After multiple failed attempts to explain his job successfully to his family, an experienced virtual reality game developer has permanently abandoned future attempts, it has emerged. UX designer and tools programmer at Exploding Breakfast, Dexter Special, said "It's always been my mission to have my parents understand what I do and get why I'm so freaking excited about it. I planned my last explanation for weeks, prior to a family visit, using post-it clouds, illegal PowerPo

Dan Calamity has today announced that Half Life: Alix is guaranteed to be pungent cloud of shit steam that will certainly ruin the lives of everyone who touches it. We caught up with Dan during some painful laser surgery to remove his Half Life tattoo. Dan said "I've never tried VR but I'm pretty smart so probably have a good idea what it's about. It's kinda like monitor goggles that let you look around, teleport and occasionally vomit". "I've been loyal to Volv from day

Makers of the wildly unsuccessful Vibe Cosmoose headset, 8TC, have decided to focus future efforts on providing audio head-strap accessories for rival headsets, it has emerged. Vice president of questionable pricing strategy at 8TC, Brian Suit, said "We're not quite sure what happened with the Cosmoose. Everything was in place to guarantee success. We even doubled our customer support team by hiring one more person to cope with the increased activity". "We had the trackin

As the magic Oasis dust settles, once again, on the biggest VR family get together, we bring you the top stories from the Octopus Connect 6 conference. Convincingly rendered FaceFace Reaility Labs avatar, Mark Sugarbird 3.02, opened the conference to announce that all Rift-S owners are now required, by law, to detach the cable from their new headsets and send it to the nearest Kwest owner. He then revealed that hand tracking will be coming exclusively to Kwest to enable the

Beat Saber expert, Logan Thunderball, rescued a kids picnic from a potentially deadly wasp attack with his highly accurate, next-level swatting skills. Logan said "I was taking my monthly stroll in the local park with my friend Todd when we heard dramatic screaming coming from the picnic tables. Through the balloons and poorly erected bunting we realized there was a full-on wasp attack in progress". "I instinctively grabbed a couple of sticks and started swatting. I could

For the first time in history a new VR website, NewsBait VR, has set a record for most clicks in the VR blogging industry. Thanks to a new proprietary software they can now turn a 3 word tweet from an obscure VR community member into a 500 word article. CEO, Erik Juicy, recently stated "Our competitors in the VR news space have depended on press releases and normal sized tweets to produce content. With our proprietary blog manufacturing software we are able to produce sig

The Institute of Immersive Photo and Video have today announced that freakishly distorted giant hands that appear in 360 content are to become illegal by 2020. Representative from the Institute, Richard Boom, said "Discovering a gigantic hand on the stitch-line that looks like it's been chewed up by an angry bison is too much for some viewers. It's also been recently brought to our attention that a 9 year old Danish boy who experienced mangle-hand in 360, immediately develo

Creators of the ever confusing line-up of virtual reality headsets, 8TC, have confirmed they've let their entire marketing department go and replaced them with a rotating platform used to display delicious baked goods. Vice president of questionable business strategies at 8TC, Brian Suit said "It's no secret that our marketing team are about as effective as a drunken toddler at a poker tournament. Ahead of the launch of our newest headset, the Vibe Cosmoose, we just couldn't

Mostly adequate hand tracking camera maker, Sheep Motion, have been acquired by a shadow department of Magic Sheep and will be immediately renamed UltraFraptics as a punishment for causing years of confusion over the names. Magic Sheep are reported to have paid over 3000 euro-dollars, 12 rare Pokemon cards and a second hand bread maker to acquire the one-time interesting tech start-up. This comes after a 9 year journey of Sheep Motion attempting to convince the world that g

Dark Zuckerborg has confirmed today that the Octopus Kwest will, in fact, ship with state of the art psychic sensors. The CEO of FaceFace was quoted as saying, “Now, I know we haven’t had the best track record on psychic mind-reading recently, but just trust me on this one.” This is in stark contrast to what was mentioned at the FATE conference (the Fear And Technology Expo) where he said that his organization would stop pursuing mind control technologies to spy on and contro

A mailman is recovering at home after witnessing a VR enthusiast who answered the door encased in immersion enhancing devices. Fully equipped VR pro-enthusiast, Ernie Adopa, said "I was exploring the outer-regions of the dark metaverse when a delivery notification popped up. My freaking prototype PieMax 16k super-wide+ was at the door. I was so damn excited that I kinda forgot where I was. Maybe it wasn't the best idea to run to the door in my VR roller shoes". Recovering

The VR Community Intelligence Agency has revealed that the recently leaked Volv Index images contains clues to the location of the one VR game to rule them all. Agency representative, Kent Pie, said "We brought in brightness-contrast specialists from the VR community who ran the image through 90's hacker movie software. After a number of days of enhancing, zooming in and further enhancing the image revealed shocking results. A tiny reflection on the front of the headset r

The institute of disgruntled laser-karaoke enthusiasts have today announced that low-quality machines and exclusive content will almost certainly destroy the laser-karaoke industry. Bitter laser-karaoke enthusiast, Max Crabby said "All it takes is one curious potential buyer to experience a poorly translated Ice Ice Baby and they'll question ever investing in a home unit. If this happens on a low-quality machine then we've lost them for good. I fear for the direction the la