As the magic Oasis dust settles on the worlds largest VR hug-out we bring you the highlights from Octopus Eject 5. Recently upgraded, fully autonomous CEO of FaceFace, Mark Sugarbird v4.02, opened the conference to announce the ground breaking Octopus Kwest. An all in one, 400 euro-dollar, 9DoF headset that's just like the Octopus Reef but kinda like the Octopus Glo but still like the Reef. Mark said "The Octopus Kwest will run Reef quality experiences, You heard it here

A VR treadmill maker is remaining convinced people will want to move in VR by shuffling low-friction shoes in a giant plastic bowl it has emerged. Founder of Slippy Bowl, Gregory Wei said "Slippy Bowl can perfectly simulate what it's like to locomote in VR by moving like an angry Irish dancer on amphetamines. Simply attach the tight fitting harness around your reproductive equipment, lean unnaturally on the frame and you're running in the Meta Vase". "We don't currently su

Henvideo have revealed the GleeForce RTS 4080 Pi. A VR graphics card so powerful it could solve the majority of your life problems. Excited PC VR gamer, Bret Special said "I've been feeling a little insecure lately but as soon as I pre-ordered the RTS 4080 I could feel the strength rising in my body. I don't even mind that I'll be mainly eating instant noodles for the next few months because in my head I'm soaring like a dragon". Chief Marketing drone and CPO of Henvideo, Je

After purchasing a budget VR headset from the local toy store and trying some free apps, Earnest Soup is struggling with the idea of ever using it again. Earnest said "I'd read online that VR was possibly awesome and saw the Ready Mayor One trailer so I was freaking out at the idea of visiting the Meta Vase and living out my wildest dreams. In a moment of blinding enthusiasm I bought a 12 euro-dollar headset, ran home and crammed in my old Windroid phone like an excited 10 y

The Californian inventors of music, broccoli and the smartphone, Apell, have stepped into the immersion industry with an advanced headset containing alien superpowers. After years of stealth development and the acquisition of multiple alien research companies, Apell's CEOO, Tim Kook, took to the stage at WWDW2020 to unveil the world changing iFace. The technical specs are so mind blowing Apell followers find it hard to list them without crying: - 64k resolution (4k per eye)

In an effort to reduce the workload of their nonchalant customer support cat, Sparkle, 8TC have hired another equally grumpy and ineffective one. Sparkle said "Things have been pretty intense lately. I'm checking incoming e-mails sometimes once a day! I was finding it hard to cope in between napping and watching invisible spiders so I definitely appreciate the extra help from our newest team member, Buttercup". "Over the next few weeks I'll be training him in the art of pre

We spoke to ModoNet journalist and unrelenting VR naysayer, Dan Calamity, to get some advice on how to effectively bring the VR doom. Dan said "If you're one of those self-appointed tech experts who enjoy squirting your journalistic wisdom over your readers then I've got some top tips that are guaranteed to accelerate the ruin". 1) ‎Ensure you frequently mention the absence of an all powerful killer app that consumers will be powerless to resist. Say stuff like 'Where's my

Walter Salt has quit his job at Greycube Administrations to focus full attention on his Octopus Reef vs 8TC Vibe online war it has been revealed. Salt said "My people need out me there full-time catching newcomers to VR before they're brainwashed by the enemy. I've been training for months behind enemy lines, infiltrating small groups of deluded headset owners to identify their weaknesses. I'm now available 24/7 and can be called upon to hurl abuse using my extensive catalogu

In a recent statement Octopus have explained they never realized their new 200€$ VR standalone, Octopus Glo, ticked all the boxes as the ultimate bedside virtual porn delivery pump and would like everyone to put this idea out of their minds. Chief executive man and VP of wholesomeness, Huge Barrow, said "The Glo is positioned as a serious VR device for watching Netflux, playing mobile VR games, riding virtual roller-coasters and watching documentaries featuring serious peop

Magic Sheep, the time travelling, inter-dimensional light bending device makers, have secured their 112th round of funding from everyone else remaining in the world it has been revealed. Chief Shepherd and part time cheese smoker, Ronni Armpits, said "The recent investment from everyone else who didn't fund us in the past will enable us to buy Norway and begin construction of an orbital mind-cannon launch site, a huge R&D theme park and a massive cheese storage facility". E

A VR user has been discovered wandering around in a damp field wearing his new standalone VR headset some time after he went missing it has been revealed. The recent release of Momobobo's untethered VR headset featuring a 'Metropolis Scale' tracking system allows users to wander freely without the need for external sensors. Wandering VR user, Conrad Sessions, said "Honestly. I just lost track of time, space and reality. Everyone been talking about this amazing new experie

Nikonolta enters the premium 460-degree camera market with the reassuringly expensive Elite Ball 460. It features 460 degree hyper-volumetric 'light feel' video capture with double-half 3k image quality, 5 lenses (each with a 9-degree FOV), twin 1D spacial audio, 6 minute battery life, optional 230-degree shooting mode,1200 TB storage and the ability to stream directly to your smart bicycle. Nikonalta's revolutionary light feel capture technology not only allows the viewer

Viowei the little known smartphone manufacturer have today announced the Goggle Face. A standalone AR headset that makes you look like a cyberpunk time travelling welder. The Viowei Goggle Face features three 180p screens, 20 degree FOV, world-town tracking, 22 minutes battery life and comes complete with nonchalant AI personal assistant Lazy Susan. Chief marketing politician at Viowei, Geraldine Smoke said "All-mended Reality (AR) will transform peoples existence enablin

When VR re-emerged in 2013 in the form of the Octopus Reef DK3 people quickly realized walking in VR felt a bit like mild food poisoning. From then on everyone quietly agreed that moving around in VR was a bit shit. A new device involving massive plastic shoes that contain some science is set to change all that. The user wears shoes similar to a mad scientist's robot slippers and moves in VR either by jogging on the spot, tap dancing or moving in a way that can only be desc

A new VR controller, Krooger Hands VR, allows you to feel virtual objects in VR by encasing each hand in an over-elaborate metal cyber glove it has been announced. Each glove, weighing similar to a small child's bicycle is constructed from steel rods, gears and a tangle of wires connected to a large PC strapped to the users leg. The available demo we tried features a floating ball, a metal box and a lonely beaver having a picnic. Attempting to grab each one resulted in th

Magic Sheep have taken a small break from being mysterious and released another video featuring stuff appearing in a dark room for some reason. The super secretive mind control company recently received 800 billion-billion euro-dollars from time travelling alien investors and are now estimated to be worth more than the planet Saturn. Using a technique known as inter-dimensional light shepherding coupled with Misunderstood Reality (MR) they are able to project computer gene

VR is maybe dead and possibly also shit it has been revealed. Chief editor of CrunchNet; Max Crabby said "So FaceFace buys Octopus Reef for 3 million-billion. Then Gargle, Sonny, Sandsong and 8TC Vibe release their own high-end immersion goggles. And don't forget mind control device makers; Magic Sheep receiving 5 million-billion for smoking cheese and being mysterious!' 'The hype around VR is getting hotter than a bomb going off inside a meteor entering the atmosphere. F

Momobobo, the well-known disposable cutlery manufacturer, are launching a range of truly shocking VR headsets it has been announced. Consumers have the choice of 3 different models: The Yogurt-Carton X1, The Blister-Pack and The Plasi-Card. Prices range from 7 to 11 euro-dollars. Brand Manager and Creative Distractor; Geraldine Smoke said: "all the head boxes have 32-degree field of view, upstairs-downstairs tracking, double immersion mode and can accommodate any Windroid

After a successful crow-funding campaign that raised over 120 euro-dollars a new device; KneeVR aims to end motion sickness in VR forever. Common causes of VR sickness include; steak tartare, glam rock, worrying about your cat or drinking shots while performing a loop-the-loop at 20 fps on a Paper VR headset. "Having a knee in VR means heightened knee awareness' claims Design Detector; Munro Sparks. "This not only increases pheasants but also grounds the user in the virtu

So you're ready to spend some of your hard earned euro-dollars on some immersive futuristic entertainment technology. What should you buy? Let's break it down like 80's hip-hop. VR, or 'Visual Reality' as it's also know is a plastic box that you strap to your head that contains electronic dream windows. This allows you to watch roller coaster 460 movies, shoot stuff with a floating gun, be in a spaceship disaster or take a walk through an abandoned orphanage while being stal